Flames of Mist
by JustMe-Liz
Summary: A few decades after Esme and Jasper's deaths, the Cullen family moves to Seattle where Carlisle starts working at Seattle Grace Hospital. Here he gets to know the redhead who cries in the closets… Addison/Carlisle Alice/Alex  and a little Mer/Der. HIATUS OVER!
1. Chapter 1

I have no idea why I started this, it was just a boring day at work and the idea popped into my head during a free period... So here it is. :)

Don't sue - I don't own them and I own a student teacher's salary. Which isn't much! :p

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Chapter 1.

_Seattle._

It was raining. Which was good in a way. The rain had a way of washing everything away. Memories, feelings, hurt, pain. Everything.

Rain could clear everything up.

"Carlisle?"

Alice's small voice shook him out of his reverie and he looked down at the sad golden eyes next to him. Of course, he was not the only one to lose a mate. Alice had lost Jasper as well. Jasper who had given his life for her.

It ached in Carlisle – the fact that he was unable to do just that for Esme.

"Carlisle, is it ever going to stop… hurting?"

Carlisle sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"I don't know, Alice. I wish I did, but…"

A lot of things had changed over the past few decades. After the fight with the newborns, Edward had decided that changing Bella would be for the best.

It was what he should have done a long time ago.

Carlisle grimaced.

If he had…

The bitterness threatened to overtake him and he shook it off quickly. The memories were fading. He could no longer remember the exact shade of Esme's hair or the sound of her voice.

It had been too long.

Surely Alice felt the same.

"Do you still… do you still remember him?"

Alice understood what he meant and she shook her head slowly.

"Not as well as I would have liked. Carlisle, coming back here… do you think it's a good idea?"

He sighed, taking in the world around him.

"We're not going to Forks, Alice."

"But Seattle… it's close enough."

"I know."

He never wanted to come back, but the job offer was something he needed. Their time in Alaska was coming to a close and when he saw the ad for a Trauma surgeon, he had to apply. Luckily, he had more than enough time to qualify as a surgeon – in various specialties.

He preferred operating as a general practitioner to be honest – it was less risky for someone like him. But he needed something different and perhaps surgery would offer just that.

"Who… is… that?"

Izzie Stevens stared at the blonde man, dressed in a suit and white coat, her blue eyes glazing over with lust. Meredith joined her friend, her eyes moving over him slowly.

"That… is the new attending. In Dr. Hartford's place."

"He… so needs a McName."

Meredith nodded in agreement and both girls turned when they heard Cristina's voice behind them.

"What are you looking at?"

It was Izzie who answered, already turning back towards Carlisle.

"The new Trauma surgeon."

"Why are you… oh wow!"

"I know!"

Cristina leaned forward slightly, her eyes following his every movement.

"I have absolutely no words to describe how gorgeous he is."

Izzie nodded, unable to look away.

"I have to get in on one of his cases. I don't care how boring it is!"

Meredith laughed softly.

"Iz. He's a trauma surgeon. I don't think he's going to have boring cases."

"What's his name?"

Once again it was Meredith who answered.

"Dr. Cullen."

"How do you know everything?"

"I overheard him talking to Dr. Webber. You should hear his voice!"

They sighed together, eyes glued to him as he walked in their direction.

"I'm Doctor Cullen. I believe… one of you should be my intern for the day."

All three girls clutched at the desk instantly – it was all they could do not to sink to the floor. Cristina was the first to regain her self-control, her hand shooting up in the air.

"Cristina Yang, Dr. Cullen. I'll be your intern today."

Carlisle smiled at her politely, nodding.

"Very well. Follow me."

She rushed after him, ignoring the murderous looks from Meredith and Izzie. Carlisle slowed his pace to match hers, his voice soft and calming.

He answered all of her questions about Trauma surgery with a small smile, coming to a sudden stop when a soft sound attracted his attention.

"You don't need to follow me around all day, Dr. Yang. You're free to go and work in the Pit… or wherever you choose. I'll page you when something comes up."  
Cristina sighed, nodding at him curtly before she sprinted off. Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief – not any intern would be so easy to get rid of and he could have sworn…

There it was again!

The soft whimper coming from behind the closet door would have been impossible for an ordinary human being to hear, but of course he was no ordinary human being. He stepped forward, opening the closet slowly.

The first thing he saw was a mass of red hair.

Carlisle closed the door behind him, moving towards the trembling body carefully. Addison looked up at the sound of the door closing, wiping over her face embarrassed.

"Sorry. I must look like a mess."

Carlisle shook his head truthfully.

"Not at all. Are you… are you hurt?"

The laugh escaping her lips was everything but humorous and she shook her head.

"Not where you'd see it."

A frown appeared on his forehead and he moved even closer, sitting down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Fresh sobs escaped from her lips and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I just… I wanted someone to ask that. I just… I wanted it to be my husband."

Carlisle nodded slowly.

"And he's not asking it?"

"He doesn't see me! At all. It's like I don't exist. I'm trying… so hard to make this marriage work, when really… all I want to do is run away because I can't stand another day of looking at him and knowing that he hates me."

Carlisle frowned, carefully touching the red hair.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"He does. And he should. I'm a horrible person."

"Stop that. I'm sure you're not a horrible person."

"I am. First, I cheat on my husband with his best friend and then… I ruin his life by coming to Seattle and ruining his relationship with the girl he's still in love with and now…"

She looked at him, a blush rushing to her cheeks.

"And now I'm crying on a total stranger's shoulder."

Carlisle laughed softly, his eyes shining.

"My shoulder is still tear free. I'm Carlisle Cullen."

She wiped more tears away, holding her hand out to meet his.

"The new Trauma Surgeon? I'm Addison Montgomery-Shepherd."

He closed his hand around hers, flashing her a small smile.

"I'm technically not a stranger anymore now. So if you want to use that shoulder…"

She laughed softly, running a hand through her messy hair.

"You know what… I think I'm okay now."

"Good. So… your husband?"

Addison sighed, looking down at her hands.

"He's in love with someone else. And I don't know whether I should… wait for it to pass or whether I should fight for him. I just… don't know. Are you married?"

His smile disappeared and he shook his head quietly.

"My wife… Esme… died. A few years ago."

"Oh, I'm… I'm sorry."

"You never quite… get used to the silence. Even when you're in a group of people, you feel… alone."

"I kind of… get that I guess."

Carlisle sighed.

"I wish my children did. But they… I don't know, they miss her too. But in a different way."

"How many kids do you have?"

"Five. Esme and I adopted them."

"What are their names?"

He seemed to have peeked her interest now and he couldn't help smiling at that.

"Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella and Alice. They're all… grown ups though. They have lives of their own. Do you have children?"

"No. Derek and I… talked about it, but it never seemed like the right time. I wanted… a baby so badly though."

The longing in her voice reminded him of when Esme talked about having children and he closed his eyes.  
"I take it Derek is the husband?"

"Yeah."

"Well I think you…"

He looked down as his pager went off, a small frown appearing on his forehead.

"Addison… if you'll excuse me. Could we talk again? Maybe over lunch? I just… I don't know a lot of people here and the interns…"

She smiled, nodding slowly.

"Lunch sounds good."

He stood, holding his hand out to help her up. Addison gasped as she looked up into his golden eyes, realising the bright colour of it for the first time. Carlisle ignored the reaction, smiling tenderly.

"I'd like to finish the conversation."

"Then we'll do that."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews!! Here's the next part, and nothing belongs to me!

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Of course, as far as gossip goes, the new Trauma surgeon emerging from a closet a few minutes before Addison Montgomery-Shepherd was right up there with the good stuff.

Being used to the rumours, Addison chose to ignore it. What difference would it make anyway?

The interns were outraged – how dare Addison, who already had McDreamy, score the hot Trauma surgeon too?

Derek Shepherd used the opportunity to act like a wounded puppy, getting glee out of the sympathetic looks following him.

Carlisle however, rushed to Addison as soon as he got out of surgery, his golden eyes wide.

"I didn't want to cause trouble! I'm sorry!"

Addison laughed at his expression.

"Carlisle, calm down. It's not the worst thing they've said about me here, trust me."

He sat down opposite her, daring to smile.

"Still… your husband…"

Addison grimaced, trying her best to mask the hurt in her voice.

"My husband… is using this as an opportunity to long for Meredith Grey again. He's the good guy, I'm the bad guy. Derek Shepherd's perfect life continues. I'm sorry you got dragged into this mess. You were just being nice."

Carlisle smiled gently.

"I've had much worse things said about me than that I've left a hospital closet with a beautiful woman."

Addison couldn't stop the blush from rushing to her cheeks and Carlisle reached over, resting a cool hand against her skin.

"You're cold."

He pulled away instantly, but she grabbed his hand, smiling gently.

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

Carlisle smiled, shaking his head slowly.

"I shouldn't touch you like that, Addison. You are… far too tempting and beautiful for your own good."

She smiled coyly, avoiding his eyes.

"Tempting?"

Carlisle laughed softly, his eyes searching her face.

"Like you don't know it already."

"Maybe I don't."

He searched her face, a frown appearing on his.

"Maybe not."

"What's this?"

Derek's affronted voice interrupted their hushed conversation and Carlisle had to suppress an angry hiss at the masked glee in his eyes.

"Addison?"

Addison looked from Derek to Carlisle, her heartbeat increasing.

"Carlisle. This is my husband, Derek Shepherd. Derek, this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. The new trauma surgeon."

"The one who was in the closet with you?"

Carlisle stood up slowly, looking down at Derek with mock shock.

"Dr. Shepherd! I honestly hope you're not insinuating that we were in the closet… together. I got lost, I opened the door and there was a closet. Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd was in there looking for something. I see no reason for the suspicion in your voice."

Derek looked up at Carlisle, unable to form coherent phrases.

"Well… I… hospital… nurses…"

Carlisle laughed softly, winking at Addison before looking back at Derek.

"You should know better than to listen to the gossip of idle nurses, shouldn't you?"

Derek glanced at Addison miserably and she sighed, deciding to take pity on him.

"Derek, sit down."

Carlisle nodded slowly, his eyes gleaming.

"Yes, please. I was just telling Addison about a case I had back in Alaska involving complicated neurosurgery. You might find it interesting."

Alex looked up at the sound of light footsteps behind him, his breath hitching in his throat as his eyes landed on an impossibly small woman. He'd seen (and dated) his fair share of beautiful woman, but she… she was something else.

The stranger seemed to observe him, and he took his time, looking at her closely. Her skin was milky white – a contrast with her dark hair – and her eyes looked almost… like gold.

"Are you going to stare all day?"

The sweet, innocent voice interrupted his thoughts and he jumped, looking at her dizzily.

"Huh?"

Her laughter had to be heard throughout the hospital and a sound so beautiful simply had to make him smile. She seemed to dance forward, a small smile appearing on her face.

"I'm Alice."

"I'm… Alex Karev."

"Do you work here?"

He nodded, suddenly slipping back into doctor mode.

"Do you… do you need a doctor?"

For some reason, this seemed to amuse her as she laughed to herself softly.

"No. I'm looking for Carlisle Cullen though."

Alex's face fell instantly. As if it wasn't enough that he spent the entire day listening to the other interns gushing about the wonderful Dr. Cullen – as if the amazingly hot Addison Montgomery hadn't already been in a closet with him. Now this adorable little was looking for him as well.

"Oh. I… why are you looking for him?"

Curiosity got the better of him and Alice smiled once more.

"He's my father."

"WHAT?"

Alex looked at her in utter shock and she smiled again.

"My adoptive… father."

"Oh. How… how old are you?"

She couldn't mistake the look in his eyes and she moved closer towards him, her eyes teasing.

"Old enough."

"You… smell so good."

A blush immediately rushed to his cheeks after saying the words and he shook his head, wondering whether he could disappear if he hoped hard enough. Miraculously, she didn't laugh again, instead looking at him seriously.

"Thank you. So do you."

"Alice!"

Carlisle's voice interrupted the awkward moment and she turned lightly, her icy hand brushing against his. Alex shivered involuntarily, his eyes narrowing.

"Carlisle! I was looking for you!"

Carlisle seemed uncomfortable for some reason and Alex sighed, realising that the older doctor had probably heard everything about his reputation already. He smiled at Alice though, nodding slightly.

"I'll see you around, Alice. Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle nodded in greeting and he fled, leaving the extraordinary father and daughter behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**So... For some reason I reread this fic last night and deemed it's time on Hiatus to be officialy over. So here is an update - along with the news that the Hiatus is no more! Thanks for all the reviews that I have received so far. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's or Twilight, nor do I own any of the characters.**

CHAPTER 3:

"Alice… you can't come here."

Alice's eyes were wide as she looked at him.

"I know I shouldn't be here, Carlisle. I can smell the blood and it's driving me crazy, but I had to warn you."

"Warn me?"

She nodded quickly.

"I saw someone attacking you. Diving at you. I don't know who it is, Carlisle. What if… what if somehow some of the newborns escaped and…"

Carlisle placed an ice cold hand on her shoulder.

"Alice, slow down. What did this…stranger… look like?"

"I can't… I can't really remember. I didn't see his eyes. He was quite scrawny to be honest, with wavy black hair… He was pushing you against a wall, effortless. You didn't fight back."

Tears formed in her eyes as she looked at him.

"I know you miss Esme, But we need you, Carlisle. Please… you have to fight back!"

A smile crept onto Carlisle's face.

"Alice, don't worry about it. I know who you are talking about. It's a human. He can't hurt me."

Alice nodded, seemingly calming down.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I… will be going now."

She winked before turning around.

"Say hello to Dr Karev for me."

His pager went off before he could respond and within minutes he was in the E.R, looking down at a woman, covered in blood.

He looked at Cristina Yang swiftly.

"Dr Yang, an update please?"

"Bethany Robinson, her car crashed into a wall. Several lacerations, wounds surrounding her heart and lungs. She is non responsive, paramedics said she was awake when they got there but couldn't answer any questions coherently. Oh and… she's 28 weeks pregnant."

Dread filled Carlisle immediately as the realisation of his prospects in the OR dawned upon him. His voice was heavy when he addressed Yang again.

"Please page Dr Shepherd."

"Addison?"

"Both."

It was an hour later and a particularly volatile fight later, when Carlisle entered the OR alongside Derek and Addison Shepherd. Cristina, George O'Malley and Alex Karev followed quietly behind. Addison immediately sat down next to the monitor, her eyes glued to it while Carlisle stretched his muscles, getting ready to perform the first surgery he had done in quite a while. Derek's cheery voice suddenly broke the silence.

"Well people. It's a beautiful day to save lives."

Carlisle was the only one able to hear Addison's muffled voice, clearly irritated by her husbands cheerfulness.

"Oh shut up, Derek."

As Meredith and Izzie sat in the gallery, their eyes were glued to the hands working swiftly to save the woman's life.

"B.P's dropping!"

Derek swore under his breath, his hands working faster. Carlisle looked for a bleeder intensively, his hands fleeting steadily.

"The baby's BP is falling. I'm performing a C-section, now. O'Malley, do not move your eyes from the monitor, do not even blink."

George nodded, sitting down next to the monitor anxiously while Addison picked up a scalpel.

"Addison."

Derek's voice was irritated and she looked up at him expectantly.

"If you take that baby out now, you are risking this woman's life. Her body won't be able to handle more surgery now. You have to wait."

"If I wait, I lose the baby."

Their eyes were fixed on each other, neither blinking.

"The mother is already alive. The baby is just a foetus."

"No, Derek. The baby is a child, who could have a life. I'm not arguing about this now."

Carlisle looked up, his eyes exceptionally calm.

"If DrMontgomery-Shepherd feels that the baby's life is in danger, let her take it out. The baby is her responsibility, Dr Shepherd. Mrs Robinson is ours. So we need to keep her alive, while your wife keeps the baby alive."

A nervous silence hung through the O.R, broken only by the constant beeping of machines.

"Fine."

Derek's voice was curt, held back anger clear in it and Addison glanced at Carlisle once before all her attention was directed to performing the C-section. Both Derek and Carlisle fought frantically as Bethany's BP kept dropping. Everyone froze when the rhythmic beeping of the machines stopped, signalling an end of the woman's heartbeat.

Derek turned swiftly, grabbing the paddles behind him. He spoke to the nurse without even looking at her.

"Charge to 200."

"Derek!"

Addison's voice was sharp.

"I'm in the middle of a C-section, I can't stop now. You need to wait."

"I wait and she's dead!"

"I stop and the baby is! I am not moving!"

Derek stepped back irritably, his eyes not leaving Addison's hands until she finished.

The second she held the small baby in her hands, he leapt forward, charging and shocking repeatedly until Carlisle's cool hands removed the paddles from his hands.

"Dr. Shepherd. It's over."

Carlisle's voice was laced with empathy as he glanced at the clock.

"Time of death, 15:21."

Derek was the first to chuck his mask into the dustbin, storming out angrily. In the gallery, Meredith stood quickly.

"I need to see if he's okay."

Chills ran down her back when she looked down, meeting Carlisle's eyes. By the look in his eyes, she could swear that he had heard her soft whisper…


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you Dae'Mone't for reviewing and not giving up on this story. I can only hope that all of my readers did not give up on this fic, despite the too long Hiatus! **

**Once again, it's not mine and here is another update. ALERT: A little MerDer in here, joined by a Carlisle-Derek confrontation and some more Addex and Carlisle/Addison friendship! Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 4:

"Derek…"

Derek looked up as the on-call room door opened, a smile automatically forming on his lips as Meredith Grey entered.

"Meredith… Hi."

"I watched your surgery."

She sat down next to him, her large eyes searching his face.

"Are you okay?"

Derek shook his head hesitantly.

"Losing patients never affect me this much. It's just… working with Addison and Dr Cullen, seeing them both undermine me like that… After they…"

He sighed, quieting down. Meredith's heart dropped.

"I heard about… them meeting in a supply closet. On his first day here?"

Derek sighed.

"If Addison wanted to keep cheating on me, with anything that moves, why couldn't she just let me go? Why couldn't she let me be with you? Does she hate me that much?"

Meredith sighed, tears forming in her eyes.

"I wish I knew, Derek. I hate seeing you from a distance and knowing we can't be together. I love you so much!"

Neither of them was aware that they had moved. Then his lips was on hers, his hand in her hair. They didn't notice that the on-call room door had opened until Carlisle was right next to them.

Derek and Meredith slowly broke apart, Meredith looking at him wide-eyed and Derek seeming apathetic.

Uncomfortable under his persistent gaze, Meredith stood, running a hand through her messy hair.

"I… I have to go. Patients."  
She seemed to fly out of the room, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Carlisle simply stared at Derek silently, his eyes filled with nothing but interest.

"So what? I guess you're going to run off to Addison and tell her now. The two of you are joined by the hip after all."

Derek's voice was angry, accusing – in a stark contrast with Carlisle's when he spoke.

"Dr Shepherd, first of all, Addison and I are not joined by the hip. We are simply spending time together because I like her. She's someone I would appreciate as a friend, I do not know that many people in Seattle and she is nothing but gracious. Secondly, no. I am not planning on running of and telling her for the simple reason that your treachery has hurt her enough already. I have no reason to make it worse."

Derek gaped at Carlisle, a colour tinting his cheeks as well.

"You don't understand the situation, Dr Cullen."

Carlisle nodded.

"I might not. What I do understand is that you are kissing another woman, while you have a beautiful wife. I wife, whom I might add, seems to be trying her best to love you despite your horrid indifference to her. You truly are a courageous gentleman."

He turned without another word, leaving Derek to soak in his softspoken words.

"It was so strange. There was just this look in his eyes, like he knew what I was thinking. How did he know that Derek and I were in that on-call room?"

Cristina shrugged.

"I don't know, Mer. He doesn't seem particularly strange to me. Just overly polite."

Meredith leaned back against the wall, sulking.

"If he didn't come in, Derek and I would have…"

"What? Derek and you would have what?"

Alex's annoyed voice broke through the intimate conversation and Meredith's head turned speedily. Cristina immediately noticed the despair on Meredith's face and glared at Alex.

"Eavesdrop much, Evil Spawn?"

Alex just rolled his eyes, turning away from them. He glanced at them over his shoulder, a frown settled between his eyes.

"You know… this is the public. If you want to keep your conversations under wraps, don't talk so close to the nurses. And I'm just putting that out there, but… The She-Shepherd is not nearly as bad as you think."

He walked away without another word, leaving Meredith and Cristina staring at each other.

Meredith sighed dramatically.

"Even Alex has a thing for her. She can have him, she can have Cullen. Why does she want my McDreamy?"

"I don't know, Dr. Grey. It could be because he's my husband."

Meredith turned slowly, her face a ghostly white.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd…. I…"

Addison shook her head firmly.

"I don't want to hear it, Grey. Derek is my husband. We were married for eleven years. Do you honestly think a girl he picked up in a bar a few months ago could compete with that?"

Meredith gaped, her mouth opening and closing silently.

Addison blinked back tears, turning around without another word. She walked slowly, bumping in to Alex Karev.

"Sorry, Karev… I…"

Alex caught her by the arms, his eyes worried.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd… Don't worry. It didn't go on long, it was just a kiss. Nothing else happened as far as I heard."

Addison frowned, her eyes widening.

"Karev… what are you talking about?"

Alex paled.

"I thought…. but you were talking to Mer. And you were upset, I thought you found out…"

Addison leaned back against the wall, her entire body trembling.

"He kissed her?"

"Dr Shepherd, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have told you if…"

Carlisle appeared suddenly, out of nowhere, his arms wrapping around Addison to keep her from sinking to the wall.

His cool hand folded around his arm.

"Not here, Addison. Don't give the nurses more to gossip about. Walk with me." He glanced up at Alex.

"Care for her patients for the rest of the day please, Dr Karev. Page us when there is an emergency."

Alex nodded, dumbfound as Carlisle led Addison to an on-call room. Her eyes were vulnerable, laced with disappointment as she sat down on the bed.

"He… he kissed her."

Carlisle sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry, Addison. I truly hoped you wouldn't find out."

"You knew?"

"I knew. I just thought… it wasn't my place to tell you. You are the first person who has become my friend here. I didn't want to be the one to hurt you."

She smiled sadly before lying down on the bed.

"You are too good to be true."

Carlisle tensed as he watched her tempting form, curled up in a bundle on the bed, the fleeting desire to lie down beside her and hold her against him playing in his mind. It was only seconds, then he forced it out of his mind.

"I need… I need to go. I will see you later."

Addison nodded blankly, just staring at the wall quietly as he left.

"Meredith! We need to talk."

There was no time to respond, before she was pulled into an elevator by Derek.

"Derek, I don't…"

She gazed into his eyes, turning around before she could get completely lost in them.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"What happened today… after the surgery… no one can know. Addison can't find out."

Unfamiliar anger stirred in Meredith.

"Why not, Derek? It's not like you want her, is it?"

Derek sighed dramatically.

"Mer, I'm trying to do the right thing. Addison will grow tired of pretending that this is working. We just have to be patient. Besides, even if she does not grow tired of it… Her and Cullen are too close for comfort. She's a cheater. It won't be long before she does it again."

Meredith sighed.

"Fine. We'll wait."

"We'll wait."

He stepped forward, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"You still smell like Lavender."

The elevator came to a stop before she could respond and Derek winked at her before walking off. He stretched his shoulders before glancing at his watch. There were three hours left before his surgery. He had time for a nap.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reading & reviews! So, starting tomorrow we have a long weekend. That means I will not be able to update until next week. This goes for the fic, Four little words, that I started too. **

**Once again, I own nothing.**

The on-call room door flew open and Addison froze as she spotted Derek entering tiredly. One look at her tear stained face was enough to drain all colour from his face.

"Addison…"

The fire he feared would be in her eyes was nowhere to be found as they stared at each other awkwardly.

"Please leave."

His heart twitched at her broken voice and he rushed forward, grabbing onto her hands. Addison avoided his eyes, trying her level best to look away, but there was no allowing it.

"Addie, listen to me… please."

Addison looked up, biting back the tears.

"What do you want me to say, Derek?"

"I'm sorry. I never wanted you to find out. It was a mistake. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"You didn't want me to get hurt? Then why are you consistently making sure that you do hurt me?"

"I…"

His words dried up and he looked away.

"I guess… It hasn't passed yet. You are my wife and I want this marriage to work. But I'm still in love with Meredith."

"How long do you expect me to wait for it to pass?"

"I'll try. Forgive me, please? It was just a kiss. It just happened."

Her own words from what seemed like an eternity ago seemed to come back and haunt her.

"It just happened, he was just here, he was just here!"

That excuse ended with her banging against the door in the icy rain. She swallowed, looking away. When she looked back at him her eyes were dry.

"I don't want to talk right now. Just… give me time. Please?"

Derek nodded blindly, turning to walk out. Anger seethed in him as he noticed Carlisle Cullen, talking quietly to another surgeon. Without even thinking twice, Derek stormed forward, grabbing him by the collar. Carlisle didn't resist, pretending to wince as his back hit the wall.

"How dare you?"

Derek's voice was venomous and Carlisle frowned, quietly looking back at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The hell you don't! Even beyond all this bull about not wanting to hurt Addison, you ran to her with the news the minute you could! Why? Want a shot at her?"

Carlisle bit down angrily, resisting the urge to push Derek back as he kept spitting fire at him.

He forced himself to calm down before speaking.

"My interest in Addison is purely platonic. Just because you stand behind the door, don't look for me there."

"Stay away from my wife, Cullen."

Carlisle simply lifted a brow.

"Your wife… is my friend. And right now, she needs all the friends she can get. You are clearly not staying away from your mistress. I have no reason at all to stay away from Addison."

It took suspiciously long for Richard Webber finding them where they held a silent staring contest, Derek's fists clenching tighter.

"Shepherd!"

It took the chief and two interns to pull him away from Carlisle. Carlisle simply straightened his coat, nodded at the other men and turned around, walking away without another glance back at them.

The day seemed to last forever. No one was happier than Addison when it finally ended. She made a beeline for Joe's, sitting down at the bar before anyone else for the hospital even managed to get there.

Joe looked at Addison worriedly as she threw back Martini's. The group of interns were next to arrive, finding a table close to the dart board. Their loud chatter reached Addison's ears and she looked at Joe blankly. He simply put another Martini in front of her, not saying a word.

"Joe… What is it about her?"

Addison's voice held a hint of a slur, and Joe sighed, shaking his head.

"Addison… I can't speak for Derek."

Her shoulders slumped, elbows resting on the dirty bar.

"I'm so tired of fighting."

Her eyes were glazed over by the time Carlisle Cullen entered. He spotted Addison and made his way towards her, sitting down gently.

"Are you okay?"

Addison looked over at him, a sad smile on her face.

"No. I'm pathetic."

Carlisle rested his hand on hers, his eyes bearing empathy.

"You're not pathetic, Addison."

She laughed shortly, her head resting on her hand.

"You don't strike me as the kind of person who goes to bars."

"I'm not. But I had a feeling you'd be here."

Meredith's laughter caused them to look over at her and Addison looked down.

"I don't want to believe that he's still in love with her. But he is."

Carlisle hesitated, sweeping a strand of her out of her face. Addison leaned closer and laid her hand against his cheeks.

Her lips were on his before he could move and Carlisle had to bite back venom at the exquisite taste of her. It burned in his throat, giving him the strength to push her away.

"No, Addison. You are… perfect. But you are my friend. My married friend."

Drunken tears stained her cheek.

"My husband doesn't want me."

"Let me take you home, Addison."

She sighed deeply, allowed her fingers to trail patterns on her lap.

"I don't have a home."

"Addison…"

She finally looked up at him, bearing a trace of a smile.

"Okay. Thank you."

"Have you seen Carlisle at all today?"

Edward's frown was deep as he sat down on a sofa, checking the clock against the wall repeatedly.

It was Alice who answered.

"I did. I was at the hospital and…"

Rosalie turned swiftly.

"The hospital? Alice… Why?"

"I needed to see him. Don't worry, nothing happened. I just… had a vision and I had to warn him."

"A vision? About?"

It was Bella's voice and Alice looked away.

"You'd better ask him. He handled it though."

Rosalie glanced at the clock too.

"It doesn't explain why he is not here yet. We need to hunt. I'm starving."

"We can take turns. Rosalie, you, Emmet and Alice go. Bella and myself will wait for Carlisle."

Rosalie hesitated for but a second before standing up.

"Good idea."

The four left the house before you could blink, rushing towards the forest they had seen upon arrival.

To say that Carlisle was shocked upon seeing the trailer in which Addison lived would be a gross understatement. He could not for the life of him understand how – or why – anyone would let the classy, sophisticated woman move into a trailer.

"I…"

He shook his head, speechless and Addison smiled.

"I know."

Carlisle leaned forward, kissing her cheek tenderly.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow. Good night Addison."

Desire burned in her at the feel of his lips against her cheek, but she repressed it, looking at the trailer in more than mild disgust.

"Yeah… tomorrow."

Carlisle waited until she entered the trailer before turning his car back to town, driving at an agonizingly slow pace.

Neither Addison, nor Carlisle had noticed the three pairs of gleaming eyes behind the trees.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again for the reviews - and sorry I'm taking so long with the updates! It recently occured to me that teachers hate exams more than learners...**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Rosalie stared at the pair in shock, her hands shaking.

"What is Carlisle thinking? I can smell the human of her from a distance. How can he…"

Conveniently forgetting that Bella had become a close friend, somewhat like a sister, she seethed.

"A human! It's a horrid idea, if the Volturi finds out… And what about Esme? Does he not have any respect?"

It was Alice who spoke up, her voice small.

"Rosalie… Carlisle is lonely. I know, trust me. No matter how large our family is, there is just something missing. True companionship."

Rosalie pursed her lips.

"It's too risky. He can't do this to us. Not again. Who has to die this time before…"

"Rose…"

Emmet's voice was calm.

"From what I saw, Carlisle just dropped her off here. They might be nothing more than colleagues. Or friends."

Rosalie's golden eyes darkened slightly, the words too soft for a regular human being to hear.

"We all know what happened the last time one of us befriended a human."

Alice's eyes widened slightly, her voice holding a note of shock.

"Rosalie! We're all friends with Bella."

Rosalie nodded, her lips pursed.

"Yeah, and I love her. But… you all know what we went through. We got through all that together – and barely. I can't do it again."

Emmett shook his head slowly.

"Rose, let's just… finish hunting and go home. For all we know, there's nothing to worry about, okay?"

Rosalie nodded, her hand disappearing in Emmett's and Alice smiled.

"Besides… I see no trouble in the foreseeable future."

"You're late."

Addison locked eyes with Derek the second she opened the trailer door. His voice sounded wounded and an indescribable anger filled her.

"Is there a reason why you are pretending to care, Derek?"

"Addie…"

"Don't. Just don't."

She sat down on the end of the bed, her eyes speaking volumes, clearly reflecting the torment inside her.

"What happened to us, Derek?"

_You slept with my best friend._ Derek shakes his head lightly, suppressing the immediate response that comes to mind.

"I… when did all of this start? When did we start changing?"

They hadn't talked with the same amount of comfort in ages and Addison plucks up the courage to look at him, hope filling her.

"There was no big incident to change us. We just…gradually got too busy for each other without noticing it."

Derek nodded with just a hint of stubbornness shining in his eyes as Addison continued.

"And then Mark…"

She broke off, shaking her head and Derek carefully took her hand in his.

"Was just there."

Addison nodded, holding onto his hand tightly as though she needed to make sure he wasn't some alcohol induced hallucination.

"You kissed Meredith."

Derek looked down, his ears tinted red with shame.

"I'm sorry, Addison. I know… Everything I said about being in love with her… it's true. But I should try harder to get her… out of my system."

Addison nodded carefully.

"Derek… you're not happy are you?"

He decided on the truth after careful consideration.

"No. I'm not."

The shadows in her eyes told him everything.

"And neither are you."

A long silence settled between them. Derek broke it hesitantly.

"I'll try harder."

He had run for miles, not stopping until he was obscured by trees, unable to see the stars through the treetops.

_Addison_.

For a minute he wished that he had the ability to switch off his emotions in order to lay them out and look at them carefully. But he was on fire with compassion, confusion, empathy, affection, interest, trust. Lust. The tenderness he felt toward her was easily explained. She was a broken soul, but despite that there was something in her eyes showing that she's a fighter. She was the type of person he would have befriended before he was turned.

It was the last feeling worrying him. When she touched him, looked at him in a certain way… The feeling arising in him was something he hadn't experienced in a century. He had always thought that only Esme could arise those feelings and after her death he had expected to live without that excitement, the arousal, the ecstasy. He could still feel the taste of her lips on his, the venom burning in him…

His eyes gleamed through the forest desperately. He wanted to scream, to find any way at all to allow everythinghe held in to escape. Carlisle closed his eyes, urgently trying to sort out the muddled array of thoughts jumping around in his mind. He had to suppress them before heading home. Edward would take one look at him and know everything. He wasn't certain, but he held onto the belief that his children would see him even thinking of another woman as betraying Esme. Maybe not Alice. She knew the pain of being alone, of having lost the person you shared everything. But Rosalie and Emmett, Edward and Bella… they still had each other, blissfully unable to imagine life without the other.

They were unable to put themselves in his shoes and he couldn't fault them for that. Besides, Addison was a married woman. It would not do to allow himself to think of her in the manner that he had started doing the second her lips touched his.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am definitely not updating as fast as I would like, sorry about that. Forgive the filler chapter too please. Unfortunately, I need it to get where I want to go with this story. I think.**

**Thanks for the reading & reviews. I appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

CHAPTER 7

Carlisle heard the familiar click of Addison's heels the second she stepped foot in the hospital. It took every last ounce of self control he possessed to allow his hands to slowly finish the stitches he was busy with.

Her husband was with her.

He straightened his shoulders, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand.

Addison's breath hitched in her throat the second she entered the E.R. Carlisle Cullen was impossible not to notice. The kiss they had shared – or rather the kissed she tried sharing with him – was painfully etched into her memory.

Unbeknownst to Addison, Carlisle was reliving the same memory. Even the venom setting his throat on fire was nothing compared to the overwhelming mixture of feelings rushing through him at her touch.

He was unable to ignore her as she passed, though he immediately regretted it when he looked up. Time seemed to freeze as their eyes locked, both doctors unable to attempt moving.

It was Addison who looked down first, blood rushing to her face. She couldn't even imagine what he had to think of her – a married woman, forcing her kisses down on him.

Carlisle recognized the defeated expression on her face despite her downcast eyes and he looked down at the patient again.

He would not let Addison affect him, he could not afford it.

Though she tried her best not to notice, Meredith could not help but see the quiet glances shared between Addison and Dr. Cullen.

No innocent bystander would read anything into the intimate looks. Meredith however, being guilty of sharing those same looks with Derek Shepherd time and again, recognized the barely masked desire in their eyes.

A smile graced her face as an idea slowly formed in her head. Perhaps she should attempt pushing the pair closer together – without them noticing of course.

Her conscience was soothed by the fact that it would make Addison and Carlisle happy. Not to mention that it would give her and Derek the chance to finally be together without anything standing in their way.

It was Carlisle who approached Addison first, blissfully unaware of the intern watching their every move carefully.

"Addison…"

Addison's heart skipped a beat when his fingers closed around her arm and Carlisle took a step back, having heard the unusual change of rhythm in her heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, I…"

Addison gained herself quickly, looking up at him. Her hand moved automatically, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey."

"I was going to the cafeteria. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

He took a step closer when noticing her hesitation.

"Addison… we're friends. I don't want that to change. Please?"

She nodded slowly, linking her arm with his.

"You're right. I could use a cup of coffee."

The warmth of her arm linked through his burnt through his lab coat as they slowly walked to the cafeteria.

All eyes in the cafeteria shot to the exceptionally attractive pair as they entered the cafeteria – Derek's included. A pang of jealousy shot through him as he noticed the sparkle in Addison's eyes.

He could not remember when last he was responsible for that sparkle. Probably when they were still residents.

Somewhere along the way, he had simply stopped noticing her.

Now, suddenly, he noticed the way her hair framed her face, her eyes gleamed, and her radiant smile.

She had lost weight – it made her look strangely vulnerable.

Derek stood suddenly, not noticing that the scraping of his chair against the floor drew half the cafeteria's attention – including Addison and Carlisle's.

Addison sighed miserably upon seeing Derek flee from the cafeteria hurriedly.

Carlisle held her back when she made a move in his direction.

"Don't. It's an innocent coffee, Addison. We are friends. Don't give him mud to sling."

Addison nodded.

"You're right. We… we said we'd try harder, so I should wait. Trust him. Like he should trust me."

"Exactly."

Electricity ran through him as their fingers touched and he pulled away instantly, heading to the table without meeting her gaze. She could not know how he desired her. Not because of her husband, but because of her humanity. He'd hurt her. And he'd never forgive himself for that.


	8. Chapter 8

Wow… thank you for all the lovely reviews and not giving up on this. I am so sorry for not updating much, but I am currently busy filming a movie for a competition and I just had to write a report on why my learners are failing English… Fun. But for now, I hope this is enough!

DISCLAIMER: The things I would do if I owned Carlisle… Sadly, I own less than nothing.

CHAPTER 8

_I can't believe how beautiful you are_

_and I can't explain what you mean to me,_

_but I know you need to hear it – if you only knew how I try._

_But the words don't always come out right,_

_I let them go and they take flight._

_Words will fade like falling stars, but you'll find me in the meaning of my heart._

_*Words by Niemand*_

Addison's heels clicked loudly as she walked through the hall, her attention glued to her pager. She gasped when she found herself being pushed into an on-call room mercilessly.

Hands wrapped around her waist and she barely had time to look up before lips met hers with a burning passion.

Desire shone in Carlisle's golden eyes as she looked up at him, her breathing laboured. His lips were so close to hers… she only needed to move her head a little and they'd touch again.

"We can't."

Carlisle's voice was heavy and though his words denied her, his eyes burned with the same desire she felt.

He did not flinch when she pushed the white coat from his shoulders, rather pushing forward, squashing her between his muscled body and the bed.

Addison moaned as his lips met hers again, her body trembling in anticipation as his hand moved in under her scrub top.

"Addison? Addie…"

Something stirred within her. His voice sounded quizzical, almost worried.

"Addie, wake up!"

Her eyes fluttered open and it took a minute to recognize Derek's worried face hovering above her.

"Der…Derek?"

Derek smiled tenderly and rested his hand against her cheek.

"You've been twisting and turning for the last half hour. Did you have a bad dream?"

Blood rushed to Addison's cheeks at once.

"I… I can't remember."

Derek shifted his body, hovering about her suddenly. Addison's breath hitched in her throat as she looked up into his eyes.

Derek leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.

"How did I ever stop noticing you?"

"Derek…"

Her voice was breathless and he gazed into her eyes.

"You are beautiful."

Addison pushed her hands against his chest.

"Der, why now?"

"You've always been beautiful."

"No, I mean… why do you notice me now? Does it have anything to do with Carlisle?"

Derek rolled to his side of the bed and sighed.

"Addie… No. Maybe… I don't know. All I know is that when you walked into the cafeteria today, it was like I saw you for the first time."

He pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers again. Addison gave in with a soft moan and buried her hands in his hair.

He was her husband and she was sure that she loved him.

Yet, she couldn't stop her mind from turning his blue eyes into gold, his dark hair into white.

Carlisle looked up from the deer he had sunk his fangs in where he sat in the forest, a few miles from Shepherd's trailer.

Senseless emotions coursed through him as he listened to the soft moans floating from the trailer. He was stuck to the spot for a few seconds before he managed to speed away as fast as he could.

Carlisle ran as fast as possible, only stopping when he was no longer close enough to the trailer to hear the sounds and moans.

He doubled over, confused by his feelings.

It was not possible for him to be jealous, was it?

It wasn't. How could he be jealous of her and her husband, when he knew that he would break her body if he held her too close?

Yet, that fact could not stop him from imagining himself in Derek Shepherd's place.

Carlisle moved back home slowly, deciding against any further hunting. For the first time in centuries, he wished that he could sleep – if only to stop the thoughts from causing havoc in his mind.

What was Addison Shepherd doing to him?

"Derek, wait… no."

Derek frowned when he felt Addison's hands pushing him away rather than pulling him close. She had never rejected him.

"Addie, what's going on?"

Addison sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I just… I can't. Not like this, I… we need to work things out first."

"What's there to work out?"

Addison's eyes flashed with anger.

"Meredith."

Derek rolled his eyes irritably.

"You're not still on about that. I told you I was sorry."

"I heard you. I just… need time to process. We can't be with each other while thinking of someone else."

Unbeknownst to Derek, the words were directed at herself as well and he shrugged, lying back tiredly.

"Fine."

"Derek…"

"I said fine, Addison. If you're that insecure, if you think I'd think about Meredith while I'm with you…"

"Would you?"

Guilt nagged at him and he turned around, unable to face her.

"Good night, Addie."

She refrained from answering him and curled herself up in a bundle. Against her will, Carlisle's golden eyes kept flashing in her mind.


End file.
